The Unravelling

Slip knot, chain stitch, double crochet, half double crochet.

I have started to learn a new language.

Years ago, I tried to learn crochet, but got so frustrated that I threatened to put the crochet hook up my sister's nose while she was trying so hard to teach me. After numerous attempts, I accepted that I couldn’t crochet.

A few weeks ago, I changed my attitude and said, “I will try to learn again”.

A patient friend sat and talked me through the basic steps. I felt the frustration build up inside me. I had to change my thinking and tell myself. I will try and learn.

Then my sister came to stay, and she and I sat together, and once again she went over with me what she had tried to teach me years ago. With a lot of help, I managed a granny square. I did this with a pattern and guidance. Over the next few days, I tried to practise stitches often without a pattern.

I created a tiny hat that would fit a mouse! Totally by accident, as I didn’t follow a pattern.

A wise friend said it's liberating to unravel what you are making and start again.

I started doing this often: when something didn’t look right, or I saw holes, I pulled at the wool, unravelled all the stitches, and started again. There was no frustration; I told myself that I was practising and it didn’t matter.

This got me thinking about spiritual unravelling.

Let's imagine God is the big ball of wool. He has given us a pattern for our lives in the form of his word, the bible. We can choose to follow his pattern for our lives, or we can try to use our own pattern; when we do that, we get into a bit of a mess and end up all knotted up. What does God do? Give up on us? No, he lets us unravel and start again.

I started following God at a young age. I tried to follow his pattern for my life. Then I would go my own way. I had to unravel a lot of my beliefs about him. I always believed that I had to earn his love and acceptance. Or that he wanted me to be a certain person for him to love me.

I am now realising that he loves me. He forgives me when I go my own way, and each new day he gives me a fresh start.

I love this bible verse: Proverbs 3: 5-6 ( The Passion Translation)

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;

Don’t try to figure out everything on your own.

Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;

He’ll keep you on track.

Back to crocheting, I know that when I follow a pattern, the outcome is so much better than when I go rogue!

It’s the same with God. When I ask him for direction and listen for his answers, the outcome is so much better.