So I have been putting this blog off!
Being vulnerable, spiritually and emotionally is something I love in others as it helps me to connect with them.
But it’s not always the easiest or most comfortable thing to do though.
At the end of March I came back from a week in Glasgow at an intensive course on hearing from God. It was an amazing time with like minded people.
We had many conversations about Jesus with complete strangers.
During the week God did a deep work of deliverance and healing Inside of me. I shed a lot of tears!
I came back feeling like I had lived on a spiritual mountain top.
The very next day Covid hit me.
For seven days I went through every emotion!
Angry because I had got it! ( I believed I was the one that wouldn’t!)
Lost ( who am I if I’m not working or walking or sea swimming.)
Disconnected (I’m a people person I like my own company but I also like being with people)
I craved hugs!
Guilty ( as I didn’t feel close to God and didn’t feel any use to Him)
I comfort ate, I ate my body weight in chocolate! No I didn’t get the no taste symptom! I thought it would be good if I did I might lose weight!!!
I spent way too much time scrolling on my phone or binge watching shows!
Then the Covid fog and symptoms lifted and I was able to go back to normal!!
But I think I am learning that sometimes we need a new normal!
How am I feeling now? I feel stripped bare and I realise that God wants just ‘me’
He doesn’t demand anything from me.
I put those pressures on myself.
He delights in me wether I eat way too much or if I eat healthy.
He smiles at me if I read my bible or if I don’t.
At the end of the day God is God and He is on His throne.
He chooses to use me. I don’t have to achieve to get his acceptance or love.
I realise that my mind is a battle field and I need to protect my mind at all costs.
When I let doubts sneak in. I give the devil a foot hold and it takes a while to get back to God centred thinking.
I read Nehemiah the other day he was rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem. He had so much opposition the people who were against him rebuilding used their words to make him doubt.
He stood firm, he prayed he had people around him to support him and the walls were built.
I had a pictures of our mind being like a wall,
If only one brick is dislodged that wall can easily be broken down.
Lessons for myself and hopefully for you lovely reader. Protect your mind, protect your thinking.
‘Be transformed by the renewing of your mind’
or in The passion bible
“Stop imitating the ideals and opinions of the culture around you, but be inwardly transformed by the Holy Spirit through a total reformation of how you think. This will empower you to discern God’s will as you live a beautiful life, satisfying and perfect in his eyes.”
Romans 12:2 TPT
Wow reform the way we think about ourselves about others and about Gods view of us!!
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